Check up

I have an appointment with my cardiologist, Dr. Gurley on Wednesday. This time, I am not in hypochondriac mode, like I was with my last check up. He may have to talk to me about the weight I have gained. I do hope it is not water retention.

I still feel wonderful. People constantly tell me I look "better". I take that as a slight nod toward the opnion I was too skinny and emaciated before. Although one person did suggest I was heavier than I should be.

It's pretty amazing to me how much disbelief I get when I tell people what I had been through. It comes up every so often in the cab. Once in a while someone will mention a heart ailment, or some other medical problem and I can relate.

I still use my cab as my outlet for direct charity. It is not unusual for me to go out of my way for someone that truly needs, and wants, a little extra help. I add that last part because I realized at some point I was enabling people to further their problems. This was mostly due to alcoholism.

For years I served drinks to people at the bar. I thought about the consequences once in a while, but made the decision that they were adults, and would deal with the aftermath of their decisions. "On the outside", I am more part of the aftermath. I see that people neglect their responsibilities, or completely forget reality. It is so frustrating for me to deal with people that continually mess up and do not learn their lessons. I see people that have no one in their lives, yet seem to push them away or move on to the next good Samaritan.

I was finding more and more of my energy was focused on this enabling behavior. One by one, I have distanced myself from these energy vacuums. It was a difficult decision to reach. But it was a healthy and good one. Now, if I do not see effort toward trying to overcome the problem, I taper off my effort. I realize I can affect change in lives, but I cannot force change.

Since I have come to this new way of thinking, I have more time and energy for my own well-being, and just as important, more time to take on new cases. I sound like a social worker, but at one point I did feel as though I had reached my limit of "special needs" cases. That is a term my cab mentor coined for some of the people he started to share with me, for largely the same reasons I have listed.

Anyone interested in my progress, or if this blog is not current enough, email me at the address on the right (or is it the left?). If it is too hard to find, I will not enable you, click the help file, read the FAQ, pull out the book, bring cookies to AOL. haha.

peace out
K^DOG *

Now in his second millennium,
and 3.0 stage of life.

Kronick
aka Kevin 3.1

[...Driving by in the Red Car...]
* K to the D.O.G.